Understanding Your Self-worth​



I had a conversation with a friend last week and she really spoke about how family members demean her because she was plus sized. Funny enough I have experienced this issue so many times and it's so sad that many women and men out there have had to deal with negative words from their loved ones, which has really made them feel so unworthy and valueless.

Why can't people just let you be great and be yourself? I understand we all have the freedom of speech but why does it always have to be the negative words people say to others just to make them feel as though they do not fit to the society's standard of an ideal man or woman.  Because of this, I have decided to share my thoughts with you about self-worth and I hope you all find your path to understanding your worth.

Self-worth is the value one upholds himself or herself to and the need to be respected by others.

Sometimes self-worth is influenced by the people around you, your experience and location but you should not let these factors determine how you see yourself.

Take for instance a person who's had a missing father or mother figure would try to compensate for their lack of attention from their parents in their significant other.  The high expectations for their partner to fill the gap of their parent's lack of love would drive their relationship to the wall. Sometimes these family issues make them seek approval in shallow relationships all for some sort of love they never got.

We need to believe that we do not need to have someone rooting for us before we can be great. We live in a society that instilled in us that for one to be great your need someone by your side be it your spouse, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your family. This concept is so wrong. I think all you need is God and yourself; you already have the potential to be great all you got to do is trust in your self and your worth and only then would you see your product of greatness.

Successful people radiate self-esteem not self-disgust - Bo Bennett

We are our biggest enemy especially when we demean our self constantly and when we let the negative words people say get to you. So for you to be your greatest fan, you have got to look yourself in the mirror every day and say kind words to yourself. You may think this is silly but the power of positive words can do a whole lot in one's life. Not just that alone, it creates a better atmosphere for you to understand that you are amazing, beautiful, handsome and have so much greatness to instill in the minds of others.

Thomas Carlyle says "Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment." This goes to show that the little you have achieved even though you might consider it as nothing can help you see yourself in a more positive light when you are able to remember that you have achieved something so there's really nothing that can stop you from achieving greater things. 


Knowing one's self-worth doesn't just apply to women alone, but men as well. I like to think men's egocentricity is attributed to how they see themselves dictating their self-worth. While it's easier to assume that most men are egocentric, there are still some men who are altruistic. Every human is a little too self-centered so the egocentrism of a man can be positive or negative. The difference is being appreciative of your self rather than demeaning others.

The man who does not value himself cannot value anything or more- Ayn Rand

Demeaning your self and constantly picking on your flaws can be damaging to your mental health that's why its really important you know your value so people do not trample on your weakness.


How we can uplift our spirit to find our worth

Podcast and Blogs

As a person who loves to read, I always find time to read blogs or even listen to podcasts whenever I feel depressed. There are so many benefits of listening to podcasts but the one that really strikes me is how it can help with self-healing especially podcasts that serves the purpose of instilling self-positivity in the human mind.


Music a piece of art that has the power to change one's mood. I cannot stress how much effect music has had in my life especially times that I cannot seem to find my voice or feel down in a community.


Meeting with a certified counselor can be helpful, especially if you feel you have reached a point where you cannot help yourself any longer. There are so many counselors out there, you just gotta search for one. For my fellow college students, we have counseling centers on campus and it's free, so you might as well utilize this opportunity.

To wrap this up, your worth as a human can only be determined by you. If you hold yourself to a high esteem, others will too. So please find your voice and know your worth.